how I want to raise my daughters

 

my mother at dusk on Sandbridge Beach, Virginia

Sandbridge Beach, Virginia

sunrise over Kure Beach, North Carolina

This is not a post to express resentment for how I was raised. Rather, I stand on the shoulders of my parents, and I know they did the best they could with what they were given. Nevertheless, if I have daughters someday, I want them to stand a little taller than me, going farther than I could. 

I want to raise my daughters to be sassy. Smart. Indignant towards injustice. 

They don't need to protect other people's emotions. They don't need to mask their true feelings with a sweet face that doesn't offend the other. 

I want my daughters to say 'no' whenever they want, and to know when they want to say that magical word. And to have the wisdom to know what is good for them. 

I want my daughters to recognize what they want out of life. And if there are barriers to get to where they want to go, I want them to have the strength and agency to seek the help they need to get past those barriers. 

I want my daughters to take up space, with their bodies and their voices. 

I want my daughters to see themselves as equals with men. 

I want my daughters to embrace not only their femininity, but also their masculinity. 

If my daughters want marriage and/or children, I want them to embrace these gifts without losing their sense of self and independence in the process. 

And if I want these things for my daughters, I better be pursuing them for myself, too.