We need to learn something: Evening 2

Evening 2: The enchanting music of sign language

One of my best friends from college learned American sign language as her second language in high school. I have always respected this decision, mainly because not many people, including myself, choose to learn a language so outside of the box of "expected languages one should learn."

In this TED talk, Christine Sun Kim opens my "ears" to understand sound differently. I never realized that sound can be experienced not only through hearing it, but also through experiencing its effect. Christine explained how she experiences sound through its impact on others. Although her experience with sound is different from those who hear, it is no less valid.

This caused me to realize that there are so many more dimensions to our experience of something seemingly so ordinary as sound. As a piano teacher, I should explore the variety of ways in which music impacts people, beyond just hearing it. I want to strive to understand the depths of what music is, beyond just harmonies that we hear.

We need to learn something: Evening 1

My roommate suggested that we take a couple minutes every night this week to watch a TED talk, because we need to be intentional about exposing ourselves to new ideas and other people's experiences. She's right, and so we have been watching something every night in order to grow. Stagnation is not allowed in this apartment!

Because I won't retain much of a new idea unless I process it, I decided I'd post a little something I took away from each talk...

Evening 1: How to raise a black son in America

Clint Smith, a poet and educator, describes his experience of being raised to be ultra-aware of his skin color and the biases in America. From his story, I am reminded of just how deadly a wrong perspective can be if I let it take hold. And that is what has happened in America. We have allowed negative perceptions of black men to take root until our eyes have become clouded with prejudice.

The question I need to ask myself is this, "Will I allow my eyes to stay clouded?" I am a white, middle-class woman, so my experience is far removed from the American black man. But I can seek to understand and change my perspective. And I can seek to be part of creating unity.

I am grateful to have grown up in a church that proactively seeks to create unity despite cultural and racial differences. I recognize that the issue of race in America is extremely complex, involving socioeconomic factors, spiritual factors, historical realities, and more reasons than I have yet to understand. But I have hope for change because of the Spirit of God working in the hearts of the church.

New Life Providence, the church where I was raised, decided that it would not be part of Sunday morning segregation which Martin Luther King Jr. spoke of when he said that 11 am on Sunday is "the most segregated hour in this nation." To build unity, this church decided to blend worship styles in order to include people from different backgrounds with different musical preferences. To encourage understanding, this church facilitated conversations. This church chose to have blacks and whites in leadership, in the pulpit, leading worship, and in the Sunday school classrooms. They hosted a conference about creating trans-ethnic communities of faith.

I believe advances in the local church such as these are necessary to create long-lasting change in America. I wish I knew how to end the racial prejudice once and for all, but I do know that I must endeavor to do my part in building unity and healing divisions.

O come, O come, Emmanuel

Virgin of the Sign

"In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord,
make straight in the desert a highway for our God."
[Isaiah 40:3]

This Advent I am feeling the longing for His coming more deeply. Prayers for His Kingdom to come here on earth, wipe away the tears, fill the lonelinesses, and heal the pain and disappointments.

This chapel message from my favorite Wheaton professor.

Also, this rendition of a timeless Christmas hymn.

How much of life is given? how much is created by our decisions, actions, desires? 

"You turn things upside down,

as if the potter were thought to be like the clay!

Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it,

'You did not make me'?

Can the pot say to the potter,

'You know nothing'?" 

[Isaiah 29:16] 

also, this poem

LOVE bade me welcome; yet my soul drew back,
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning	5
If I lack'd anything.
'A guest,' I answer'd, 'worthy to be here:'
Love said, 'You shall be he.'
'I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah, my dear,
I cannot look on Thee.'	10
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
'Who made the eyes but I?'
'Truth, Lord; but I have marr'd them: let my shame
Go where it doth deserve.'
'And know you not,' says Love, 'Who bore the blame?'	15
'My dear, then I will serve.'
'You must sit down,' says Love, 'and taste my meat.'
So I did sit and eat. [George Herbert, 1593-1632]

I, the ungrateful, struggling up to thanks

Because I need to remember the good again today...

01. weekly hugs from one little girl with those bouncy-blonde curls
02. rain music
03. favorite people coming to visit SOON
04. pot roast, four friends, comfort, prayer
05. again, that magical word "no"
06. the blue buick
07. remembering this
08. something good happening to E.
09. silence
10. Christmas plans

[remembering that time we sat in my tiny room at 211 1/2 // winter 2015]

all is gift

Because I need to practice gratefulness today, as a dear friend has modeled.

01. surf and turf with J. and O. last night. and this cake.
02. catching up with two amazing friends over tea, encouraging one another in our frustrations and disappointments. witnessing downward growth in our lives.
03. running into an old friend at the grocery.
04. eye-opening conversation with the roomies a few nights ago. communication breeding trust.
05. driving and tunes and loud singing and an egg shaker.
06. freedom to say no when I need to.
07. anticipation for family time and the holidays just around a few corners.
08. prayers from my friend G.
09. this band.
10. connecting with S. over an autumn walk.

Hey Fall!

 Please don't leave quite yet.

Yours,
D

"Grant unto us, Almighty God,
that when our vision fails,
and our understanding is darkened;
when the ways of life seem hard,
and the brightness of life is gone,
- to us grant the wisdom 
that deepens faith 
when the sight is dim,
and enlarges trust
when the understanding is not clear. 

And whensoever Thy ways
in nature or in the soul
are hard to be understood,
then may our quiet confidence,
our patient trust,
our loving faith in Thee 
be great,

And as children knowing
that they are loved,
cared for, 
guarded, 
kept,
may we with a quiet mind
at all times
put our trust in the unseen God." 

[George Dawson, 1821-1876]

"Creativity takes courage." [Henri Matisse]

Lately I am reminded that I am a limited being. I'm slowly learning to accept my imperfections more consciously, as well as my potential to mess up, to hurt those I love. Though that is painful, accepting it brings freedom. Because I am reminded that I will never do anything out of the ordinary if I don't jump first, opening myself to being wrong, to making mistakes. I must embrace my own brokenness. I must embrace the ashes in order to allow for them to become beautiful.

This takes courage.

I believe that God doesn't promise prosperity and success. He doesn't call me to follow him with the assurance that everything will be rosy, that all my earthly desires will be fulfilled. No. Instead, he promises his continual presence (even though I don't always feel his nearness). And he promises to make beauty from the ashes. Will I trust that promise? Will I choose faith, take risks, and leap to create?

[the photo above: dear E. at my old Washington St. apt. and this song she showed me this week]

sweet tea and charleston

I spent the morning reading articles about what happened a few days ago in Charleston, South Carolina.

A 21-year-old white male visited a Bible study at the Emanuel A.M.E. Church, a historic black church. He sat with members of the church for awhile, and then open-fired, killing nine brothers and sisters.

His brothers and sisters. 

Oh God, why this racial violence? How could the shooter not see that those sons and daughters bear Your image? 

I can only pray, Lord, have mercy. 
Open our eyes to see the racial prejudice in our country, in our hearts. 

I am making feeble attempts to lament this tragedy. And a friend reminds me to repent as well. So I repent of the racial prejudice that creeps round my heart. It subconsciously lurks, having been fed by a narrative of white privilege. I am still learning how to grapple with this, how to think truthfully, however difficult that truth may be to swallow. 

So, today, in honor of my brothers and sisters in the South, I made sweet tea. 
(Though, slightly-tweaked from traditional iced tea. This one has green tea, ginger, mint, lemon and honey.)
I sat with the horror of what happened, trying to remember that God is not absent, nor deaf. 

I lament this tragedy. I try to understand. I repent. I swallow grace. I pray. And I wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring us to eternal life.  

cooking with ramps

My favorite Dutch saying goes like this, "Doe maar gewoon, dan doe je al gek genoeg."

Roughly translated, it reminds me, "Just be normal, for that is crazy enough!"  

But then I go and cook with ramps. (It's ok if you've never heard of them. Neither had I.) Ramps are wild leeks and they cost $19.99/lb. at Whole Foods. That's right. Almost 20 bucks. Gah! Despite the price tag, I bought half a pound of these scallion-like leeks and proceeded to make some savory hand pies. 

They were quite good. (Thanks to Sarah Britton for her recipe!) The ramps have a slightly onion-y flavor, and coupled with peas, lemon, goat cheese, and caraway seeds in a spelt flour crust, they are more than delicious. Loaded with flavonoids, these guys are nutritious! 

But the guilt continued. Though the food was nourishing, I couldn't shake that frugal Dutch voice inside my head. It kept nagging me that I had wasted my money. Yes, I fed my body with good food, but had I gone a little too far in exploring the world of organics and nutrition? 

Maybe I had. I realize that cooking with ramps is decidedly NOT normal. But I did it anyway.

(And I finally found consolation for spending that money in the thought of supporting some local farmer. I support what you're doing, how you're providing nutritious food for your community! Whoever you are, keep growing your beautiful produce!)